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Of all the technicalities facing us when we begin to write fiction, one which gives all but the most seasoned writer at least an occasional problem is the proper use of verb tenses. They may have been drilled into us in school. Remember their names: past, past perfect, pluperfect, future, future perfect? We thought we knew all there was to know about them. We survived as communicating beings, managed to make ourselves understood, and never gave those daunting verb forms another thought. Life was simple until, that is, we sat down and began to give a story life and substance. Traditionally, fiction (unlike most non-fiction) is written in the past tense. When you began your great novel, you put those first words down: It was a dark and stormy night. You wouldn't have written, It is a dark and stormy night. You used the past tense automatically, without even thinking about it. The reason you did that is quite clear. As a fiction writer, you're a storyteller and as a storyteller, you tell your readers about people who lived and acted in the past. It's as if you were sitting down with old friends anxious to tell them something which has already taken place. After that first sentence, the words flow easily. He said, she hurried out of the room, they met. Your concern is making your story unfold, describing your characters, finding the perfect words to convey your perfect plot. Then it happens. You want to tell the readers something which happened in an earlier time, before the current events of your story. Your characters, you discover, had lives of their own before you created them. They were born, they laughed and cried, interacted with others you'll never introduce them to in the story itself. Now, you must take your readers with you back to those earlier times and places. The easiest way to do that, of course, is by switching from the past tense into the past perfect tense. In my TALES FROM THE WRECKTORY, Imogene Cusak, amateur sleuth, takes it upon herself to investigate what she considers the suspicious suicide of Eddie Jermam. Imogene speaks to the dead man's ex-wife, Delores, who relates an event of an earlier time, hence the need for the past perfect tense. I have italicized this verb form. Delores related several stories concerning the deceased, and ended with the time Eddie and she had taken a vacation to London. Dee had jokingly told him she hoped they would be able to see the Queen. She had read that the monarch would be in attendance at a Command Performance that evening. Right after lunch, Eddie had disappeared for a couple of hours, then had returned to their hotel room with a devilish smile on his face. He had told her they had a special treat in store that evening.Using the past perfect makes it clear to the readers that you are relating events of a much earlier period. It also does something else. It makes for clumsy writing with the readers tripping over too many instances of the auxiliary verb, had . It slows the reading and demonstrates a crude, amateurish style. The desired effect can be achieved by using the past perfect tense, then when you feel confident the readers are settled into that time period, simply slip into the past tense. One simple rule, however, must be kept in mind: NEVER LOSE YOUR READERS. In the paragraph above, Delores tells of the time Eddie and she had taken a vacation to London. That tells the readers an event is being described that took place before the time of the story. From there on, the past tense will relate what happened and do it more smoothly. Read the simpler version: Delores related several stories concerning the deceased, and ended with the time Eddie and she had taken a vacation to London. Dee had jokingly told him she hoped they would be able to see the Queen. She had read that the monarch would be in attendance at a Command Performance that evening. Right after lunch, Eddie disappeared for a couple of hours, then returned to their hotel room with a devilish smile on his face. He told her they had a special treat in store that evening.The last sentence brings your readers back to the time of the story. There are a number of variations of this technique. The one above simply begins with the past perfect, then slips into the past tense. One may achieve the same effect by the use of words which tell the readers you are going into a period prior to the time of the story. "Ten years ago," "Then the year after she graduated," "While her husband was still a child." You get the idea. Simply set the stage, then proceed with the past tense. When you are ready to return to the present, i.e., the time of your story, just let the readers know. "Now, years later..." or an interruption, such as Imogene's above, will do the trick. A similar problem arises when using the word, "would" as in the subjunctive. An example from my THE BODIES OUT BACK: Tonight, the pain acted like a soporific, sending him off to sleep, thanks also to the constant sound of Gertrude's voice coming from the next room. In his state of semi-consciousness, he wondered if he would dream again tonight, dream his favorite dream, the one in which he would leisurely place his hands around his wife's neck and in something approaching a sexual orgasm, would press and press until her voice would leave her and her eyes would begin to bulge and her tongue would protrude from her mouth, and then the neck and the whole body would go limp, like a broken cornstalk he remembered as a child on the farm, and as with that broken cornstalk, he would casually throw Gertrude's body to one side, free at long last of that voice he swore was recorded in hell.This makes your writing too "would-en." Since you have told your readers that this is something which might happen, try using the present tense as follows: Tonight, the pain acted like a soporific, sending him off to sleep, thanks also to the constant sound of Gertrude's voice coming from the next room. In his state of semi-consciousness, he wondered if he would dream again tonight, dream his favorite dream, the one in which he leisurely places his hands around his wife's neck and in something approaching a sexual orgasm, presses and presses until her voice leaves her and her eyes begin to bulge and her tongue protrudes from her mouth, and then the neck and the whole body go limp, like a broken cornstalk he remembered as a child on the farm, and as with that broken cornstalk, he would casually throw Gertrude's body to one side, free at long last of that voice he swore was recorded in hell.Simpler, cleaner, easier on the eyes, uncluttered with needless complicated verb forms. By using the present tense, you make the action more immediate and bring your readers into the dream. When finished, Gertrude's voice brings them back to the current action. These are only two examples of using the rules of grammar while bending them slightly in your fiction writing. If your readers always know where they are, what is taking or has taken place, they will appreciate your keeping the writing simpler. Purists may be alarmed, but, in my humble experience, purists do not make good writers. Joseph E. Wright is the author of TALES FROM THE WRECKTORY (MetropolisInk) and THE BODIES OUT BACK (BooksUnbound), as well as MEMORANDUM OF A MURDER (oop). His work has also appeared in Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. |